I’m Getting Married

I’m getting married this summer, June 2022. We had planned to invited forty people but decided to have a small wedding. My immediate family and her immediate family (I had no idea how expensive weddings can be wow). In her parents backyard. And hopefully lots of Colombian cuisine.

My fiancée is good to me, ever since I met her. She’s kind, affectionate, and is attracted and aroused by me (her words not mine, I swear lol). And I her.

I on the other hand, was not always kind or affectionate. As a matter of fact I have been mean to her. I used to drink booze everyday and smoke pot everyday. That made me anxious and always on edge. I would get angry at the slightest thing I thought was annoying me. We almost broke up a couple times because my boozing and pot smoking made my behaviour erratic and was ruining my relationship with my family and partner. Something had to change. So I quit booze and pot.

One of my buddies said something that stuck with me after I was complaining about dating a couple of years ago, he said to me sarcastically, “Oh you got to date around until you were in your 30s and then met a Colombian who really likes you? Real tough stuff I feel sorry for you.” He was right, and he was a bit more vulgar than I would like to share, but you get the idea.

I’m learning how to receive love and give love back in a healthy way. Being accessible to my partner has been something I had to learn the hard way through dating. And I don’t know about you, but man that was a tough go. Is dating the same as it was when I was in my 20s? I hope it’s calmed down a bit. I hope it’s easier for everyone because it wasn’t for me, at least at the start. I hope young people realize that you don’t need to party hard all the time to meet people. It can be exhausting, mentally heavy, and bad for your physical health. But do what works for you. If I could do it all over again, the dating, I wouldn’t drink so much alcohol or be stoned all the time. I would be more authentic and sober. Not to be preachy, simply sharing my experience.

I hope one day you find someone to marry. I’m not into the whole ‘soul mate’ concept, as that can give people unrealistic expectations that no one could ever live up too. But I do like the idea of finding someone you love and trying to spend the rest of our life together building a family. It feels natural. We are already talking about having a baby. That is amazing to me because when I was in my late twenties I remember saying, “I’ll never get married, not for me!” Boy was I wrong. I don’t hold any delusions on how this will all work out. Shit happens and I know more than a few people who have gotten divorced. But I’m comfortable with my partner. She comes from a family-first mindset (not sure if that’s a Colombian-wide thing or her family specifically). I like that. And my parents have been married for 40+ years. I believe as long as we keep working on ourselves – health, fitness, being accessible, doing fun things together – then we have a good shot at making this last. I’m ready.

She introduced me to Carlos Vives. He’s had three wives so maybe not the best role model for marriage. But I love his music.

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